So I am at that stage, like many others who get haughtily told by their moms that they need to lose weight. Being "fat" is sinful. It undermines a person's luxury to savor food to the fullest, in others opinion (in this case my mom's). Meaning, if I were FAT and I enjoyed eating, I will be laughed at or labelled a glutton.
I'd describe it as a complex that forever leaves afflicted "obese" persons eyeing others for that acutely curvaceous figure, or a size-zero. But the size-zero phenomenon is a waste, as it'd make me stand out in a crowd like a bag of bones.
Owing to some great genes and tradition, I will be skinny, yet curvy. Now, my self-worth so depends on this, and going by mom's fitness mantra - "Eat healthy but exercise!" And since my exams are over, she will most likely re-double efforts to enforce the weight-loss strategy.
So I need to watch what I eat, scrutinise calories and cut down on carbs. I could do with some green-tea, a high-fibre diet, fresh greens and regular exercise. Skipping. Brisk walking. Some weight training sessions: dumb-bells, sand bags and what not...the remnants of my brother's body-building activities.
Laziness is a major hurdle that lurks inside me. Fiesty, it hisses and draws talons against anyone that invades my comfort-zone. At other times it lies dormant and switches to Garfield, the happy cat; characteristically feline and sneaky when it comes to exercise, and being partial to junk food.
So the drama begins, with mom as Umpire and guru. Three cheers to looking pretty!! *toast*
Friday, December 28, 2012
So I am at that stage, like many others who get haughtily told by their moms that they need to lose weight. Being "fat" is sinful. It undermines a person's luxury to savor food to the fullest, in others opinion (in this case my mom's). Meaning, if I were FAT and I enjoyed eating, I will be laughed at or labelled a glutton.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
I filed and cut my nails: a self-pedicure, used a softening cream and what not... ah, the perks of being a girl! I can pamper myself all I like. And wear pink things with polka dots and tiny hearts. That also gives me divine rights to "PMS" and yowl to glory, if I so choose to.
But SOMEBODY pleaseeee scream... Or slap me, make me smell fish! Oh no, I don't like fish smell. Just lecture me on exam preparation and time-management, and I must kick arse tomorrow (the EXAM)!
P.S. It just might help if you use sweet words, and do some polite nudging, here and there. Or I might scream, and you could be the reason to start another blog post with a vendetta.
I had been shopping with mom at the "home stop". There is still lots to be done like finding the right accessories, picking out matching curtains and stuff.
This sure seems hectic. I wonder how designers manage to keep their sanity and juggle deadlines on the go. The most irking part of this addictive and tiring affair is the time constraint and one's inability to choose between intangible assets and goods that are much needed; and the cluttered state the mind is put into. Think, for example when you want to buy that gorgeous crystal thingy as a mantle-piece and it just doesn't suit the decor.
The day out ended with a contemplation: whether to go for a movie now or later. However we didn't watch movies *sigh*, 'coz the tickets were unavailable or just that the shows had weird timings which didn't go well with us. I badly wanted to watch "the Hobbit, which was scheduled for 8:45 p.m. (I have an exam tomorrow :-!). Instead, I ate donuts to make myself feel better, then ate at subway and shopped some more. Well, MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Okay. I'm not into jokes, the kind that start off and you never know where the punch-line is. Or rather WAS, as you realize the joke was on you!
Well 'scuse me. You were the dull one, the dumb one... having fallen for it. :P
My heart throbs for an imaginary knight in shining armour! Rhett Butler. Where art thou? And it's more than just a heart-ache. The skin on the back of my legs and arms hurt. I just epilated for the first time; it was a monstrous thing, really.
The whizzing machine with a thousand needles piercing the skin; biting and tearing barbarically into it. My epidermis is now more exposed and vunerable than ever. Atleast there had been an evergreen forest that had protected me; hair that always stood-on-end in wintry days like these! Now, I'm covered with tingling remnants, of what used to be hair-follicles. Now they are rashes.
Mental note: never epilate again, especially without a soothing aloe-gel on hand!
Coming to better things... Mom's back. She's gotten me a newer phone: android and not BB this time, from which I can blog. To add to that, there's this super-zoom bridge camera that shoots in RAW mode, rather like a DSLR but sans the lens-changing capabilities. It sure is the right thing for a rookie like me!
Saturday, December 22, 2012
from an opposite country
to yours, where water spirals
and the moon waxes
my stars assemble in unfamiliar patterns
and I watch often
not traffic or television
but hour by hour the huge tide
absently fingering rocks and small shells
and the wet brown kelp
where fish go sliding through.
if you were with me now
on my favorite beach
we’d watch the distant seismograph
of silver peaks darkening to indigo
and walk on the breakwater
towards the harbor mouth,
disturbing the flocks of terns
that wheel up shrieking in slim wild voices
to land again behind us
renewing their conference. I would slip
my cold hand in your pocket,
you’d look at me and grin
and we would walk together quietly
right to the very end,
where big chained rocks hold back
the same Pacific ocean, lumbering in.
~Cilla McQueen, 2001
Thursday, December 20, 2012
I am gonna be a evil, sarcastic bitch from now on, and get a kick outta everything!
No more sympathetic me.
I'm the Beelzebub that likes to write...
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
me; in a torpedo of
thought. A swim in
an ocean, Paradise,
where I want it to be;
roar of the angels;
and a death dance
of spirits, eternal.
They beckon me,
an epiphany; a
death dream and
my darkling knight.
I covet thee,
consume me, till I
want no more.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Note, the original version of the poem is in Spanish (which, I don't speak).
Hope you enjoy the read!
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn...
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth...
And you learn and learn...
With every good-bye you learn.
~ Jorge Luis Borges
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Pillsbury's chocolate icing,
goes a long way, its my
deviation from a bride
waltzing with a figure in a
tux; the bassoons playing.
Its so far away...
P.S. I wouldn't mind more cake, though!
Monday, December 10, 2012
but watch passers by, as they
dismount at each stop, few more wade in.
sultry winds of change make it through
the windows, with little ado,
it's swelteringly humid, and my head
pounds with the heat.
i keep reminding myself, it's just a few
more stops around the corner.
but then, there goes again, the scurry
of auto-mobiles and the waiting
at each traffic signal, signs that imply
this heat will never end.
Friday, December 7, 2012
a narrow bridge, joining two souls;
the heart which oscillates in serpentine marvel,
in symphony, and mine.
I cannot match again, his umbra of a soul.
A figure that entwined with my own,
a world of artifice.
Now lie broken and charred pieces of
Time flows, as clocks tick;
I'm but grit in the briny deep.
I wait for the prelude and my epiphany
sings, "here lies..." an epitaph marking two
birds but one flesh. Ageing acutely,
but damning the other's soul.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Mind right now,
The things that count,
And things which remind me
Of a higher power, indelibly
Watching over us as we play.
Question, why people leave and not
Stay by us forever, and why the sun
Doesn't shine while it rains.
What makes me sad and blue,
When I don't want to.
It's the little things that we don't
Often see enough to appreciate.
The Master, who heals us
From the hurts that life scrapes on
Our smooth mirrors;
It's a test of patience, and
Perseverance, for our faith
In His Grace should never wane.
He sets right all, that He has taken
And gives back in equal measure.
We ought to live, and
Thank Him for the beauty
He has graced our world with.
He provides for us with food,
And solace, to live and enjoy.
Mother nature has planned
To the greatest detail, our lives.
And little thoughts on His gifts
Would make all the difference.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
1. The Casual Vacancy, J.K. Rowling
7. A Brief History of Time, Stephen Hawking
9. Sam Walton: Made in America, John Huey
11. The Turning Point, Fritjof Kapra
1. Gone With the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
5. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, J.K. Rowling
7. The Great Gatsby, Scott. H. Fitzgerald
8. The Stone of Tears, Terry Goodkind
You just might be able to read more posts once my exams are over. Speaking of december, I have reasons to celebrate. Mom is returning home, and I'm awaiting a new DSLR, a smartphone and girly delights... chocolates, hair-straighteners and accessories. :P
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
the monster from hell.
Exuding wrath; shame
being too trivial for him
to heed. Risk it all, with
blood thickly spewing
resentment in the veins,
rushes and fancy-free
meditation to spar with
as they recede into a distant
canopy of violins playing
with a melody of pain,
fear and ire. The green
eyes smolder as deep
emeralds in the pits of
a fire, and churn with
greed. For what is; and
what could not be.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
“I hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures. None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives.” ~ Jane Austen, Persuasion
It's a Saturday afternoon, and I'm Spongebob in my favorite shorts, still too lazy to get out of the bed. And hail Patrick, the bed and I just luurve it. What's more, special thanks to the milky texture of bengali sweets. I've been eating kaju-barfi, since last night. It's only a matter of time before I bloat up like Spongebob! I have also been craving chocolate cake to sate my sweet-tooth. I may just get one and eat it all to drown out the misery and innate "noob"-iness, as a dear friend had once put it.
So as calories come, there's no turning back. The fat I'm amassing in this temple of mine. I'm a baby after all. And one can't blame babies with a said prerogative. Sickening, isn't it? You might just be wrong, 'cuz I'm only but seeking to satisfy a craving for something that's mysteriously upsetting, filling in the empty spaces with rare treats. It's giving me a sense of false release... the binge-eating. Hence, I must stop. Period.
Friday, November 23, 2012
into a sky-fall; I don't
quite like the anticipation
of what could be danger below.
It's the clouds that mist
over the horizon to the far
left. And in this sinking pit of
feeling, a crushing despair
reverberates deep in my belly;
an echo after another echo,
the jolting crunch being too
physically agonizing, for me
to make a sound.
It's like my impaled heart
gave out moments before
I hit reality, as a rock that hits
the calm ocean. The fullness of
the deep waters, measuring
the empty spaces in my
heart which skipped beats;
moments before that sickening
crunch, before I lost control.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Rather than foolishly ranting about it, I am the person who points out the positive side and talks about something good that I learned from it.
And no, I am not ashamed to speak out anymore. Not afraid of the world anymore, nor the opinions that people would form about me.
'Cuz getting hurt has scared me enough. If I'm to get hurt again, it's gonna be for a reason. And I control all those reasons,
I am what I wanna be, and I speak out for myself; I am Me. And for those of you who speak, I don't give a rap... :)
Monday, November 19, 2012
1. Get into J-school.
2. Become a prolific writer/speaker.
3. Be the kind of person who is happy doing her thing, i.e. satisfied in her job.
4. Be more vocal about thoughts and anything else that counts as well.
5. Fear no one and dare to dream.
6. Set my own benchmarks; personal goals.
7. Earn. Speak and just live!
8. And don't forget to eat.
9. Forget 'bout yogi-bears and stuffed toys.
10. Be what you want - an independent girl.
11. While you're at this, don't get lost in the chase and forget to play.
12. Read voraciously. And love the subtler things such as the weather, chocolate pastries and eye-candies.
13. Adopt a homeless puppy, play with it and give it the endless love you have left to give.
14. Travel, do some sight-seeing. Meet some new people.
15. Have stories to tell, take lots of pictures. Blog!
16. Address issues of society and the world that are longing to be written about.
17. Admire nature. Go back to the age of romanticism. Read P.Shelley, Lord Byron and John Keats.
18. Stow away your books, preserve them; archive them or set up a personal library.
19. Think before being such a self-obsessed, compulsive megalomaniac.
20. Drink diet coke and eat falafel.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
- Waves. They are but jolty currents, as one rises the other falls.
- Duality. They are dual in nature, which goes to show that they can function independently (as particles, as well as waves).
[Note: The migration of particles from a higher region to a lower region, and then back again, can be collectively termed as a "wave". There can be a sudden shift in the behavior of a particle to that of a wave, with or without prior notice.]
- Storms. Waves are formed due to undercurrents that cause the movement of a calm medium, or water-body. In short, waves can lead to heavy tides, and then emotional flooding occurs which can lead to a storm, then an "emotional wreck"-ing occurs.
- Tides. Tides are time-dependent, vary with respect to time. The amplitude of the wave depends upon the conditions of weather; temperature, friction in the atmosphere and the amount of love received. Tides are invariably a measure of this. High tides bring waves with high currents, and are therefore dangerous.
- Love. It is an emotional variable that Venetians cannot live without. [Note: It is a dimensionless quantity.]
- Behavior. It is an innate quality. The stretching, may or may not depend on the wave. It denotes the pulling away of the rubber-band from the abject of solace; it is a springing behavior.
[Note: this is independent of the dimensionless quantity, love].
- Coefficient of elasticity. There can only be as much stretching as the value of the coefficient allows. If the band overstretches, it refuses to come back to its original position; or there can be an occasional stretching, without prior notice. But it still keeps coming back to the said position.
- Space. It is a measure of the personal space the said Martian receives, and is dependent on time.
[Note: Space-time is a relative measure of the coefficient c, it can be related to the intensity of love; that which can travel at the speed of light.]
- Power. The greater the stretch, the more the force of the springing rubber-band. And the faster it bounces back towards its original position.
- Acquisition. The main abject of a springing rubber band is autonomy, acquisition of wealth, vigor and a healthy challenge. Innate qualities of a Martian and the ones that they live by.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
No more heady rushes, with my head in the clouds and hoping that great things will happen. Maybe it's time to put an end to exciting "bucket-lists", wisecracks and heck of the moment ideas! It's now time to choose, and I must choose wisely. I need all the help I can get.
It's marred idealism that rules society with religious and ethical norms. But mostly it's the double standards that have withstood the test of time, its something that youth has relentlessly sought to change. I always wanted to be a thinker, to think out of the box and not be particularly influenced by the things that people usually succumb to. I don't want to be the pretty bird in a gilded cage. And I don't ever want to lose connection with the "craziness" that's vital to my inner fire and spirit. I don't want to die a sad death, old and toothless in bed. I'd rather be the flame that started the fire, inspire and be inspired myself.
I guess it's all about to change. I've been given an ultimatum and its like my crazy dreams will never happen, as the rationality sets in. What's more, its worse to try and fight it. I can only try to have control over my life and hope that better doors open as a few doors close, maybe forever. I'd hate to give up, nor am I ready to face the sacrificial altar yet. "In order to gain something, one must lose something." But does it truly apply, when freedom of choice cannot be bartered with goodies or dealt with emotional blackmail? TO let go of something which you hold dear, in order to gain something that feels rather thrust upon you.
Another stereotype, "We are women, born to suffer." To that my inner goddess pouts, "I couldn't care less! Do see the light of the day for God's sake." All this gender discrimination and bias has got to me.
Meanwhile, I am "stealing" happy moments and spoils from the cookie jar. And never tickle a sleeping dragon if you can help it, because you never know when its gonna flame you like you're toast!
So, the Game is On...
Thursday, November 1, 2012
I am honored to have people shower praise over my writing skills. One of the best comments that I've received so far, "You have the most eclectic writing style." My inner goddess was petted and mollified by this! :D There were a few readers who simply said that I should write a novel or publish in a magazine or column. I get the novel thing quite often, and my reply has always been, "One day..."
I thank them for their encouragement, and without whom, simply putting words to my thoughts - the insane ones, humorous ones, and the aggrieved ones would never have come to pass.
Thank you all!
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
I am in an alternate universe, its just me and my thoughts here. Physics is all about space-time and not day-to-day events... Some thoughts linger only for nanoseconds, instincts and mental parodies. The subconscious is so hard to unearth. I see myself examining them as swiftly and as keenly as I would examine a strand of hair that is ever so slippery, delicate and brittle to the point of breakage.
I have finished reading "Fifty Shades Grey", I am now coursing my way through "Fifty Shades Freed".
The first book is rather dark, speaking of bodily things that have been illustrated with a kind of sensuality that only E.L. James has portrayed. Such a bold depiction of Fifty shades (i.e. Christian Grey) and his inner Demons, invokes the readers' sympathy of him. I will leave it to you to form an opinion on whether such books should be considered as literary genius or put simply, soft-porn.
Friday, October 26, 2012
The Lotus Touts
- Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
- Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
- Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
- When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
- When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
- Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
- Believe in love at first sight.
- Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
- Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
- In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
- Don't judge people by their relatives.
- Talk slowly but think quickly.
- When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
- Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
- Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
- When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
- Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
- Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
- When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
- Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
- Spend some time alone.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
I have been feasting, it could be the wonderful aroma of the cream and mushroom soup that I just made. Or it could be the "me-time" that I enjoy as much as family. It could also be the thrills and laughter at barbecues, or playing dress-up with cousins. Cutting birthday cakes and sloshing faces with whipped cream, which is again, ah so sweet.
Shopping is another entreaty, a reason to make the past few weeks even more memorable, going at it till dusk is yet another marvel. Quoting the adage, "Shop till you drop".
Or it could be the coffee that brews under slow boil and an enchanting spell as we share hour-long conversations, catching up on all things petty and magical. And then stooping for laughs as we see that old monkey by the road evading passers-by, wearing paisleys and a magician's top-hat.
Its a golden age, that's what I have been told. I don't ever want it to end. An aunt described it to me as the beginnings of a fire and likened it to the beauty of a flower when it has just begun to blossom. Its the fountain of youth, indeed.
"Youth is a beautiful dream, on whose brightness books shed a blinding dust. Will ever the day come when the wise link the joy of knowledge to youth's dream?... Too slow is our march toward spiritual elevation, because we make so little use of youth's ardor."
~ Kahlil Gibran
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
And why you should never let anyone shatter your dreams.
THINGS TO DO BEFORE GETTING HITCHED
2. Sky diving / deep sea diving
3. Sight seeing, travel continents and to go to far off places and explore the ways of nature.
4. Write a book, become a good writer one day.
5. Develop a taste for the culinary arts… "Mind over matter, palate over food."
(Can't believe I just made that up. Rofl. xxx)
6. Learn what mojo is all about, find my mojo.
7. Discover my spiritual-self. Embark on a journey that is adventurous as well as something to be learnt from.
8. Learn a new language, preferably German or Italiano.
9. Get a tattoo! And pierce my ears thrice…(three back-to-back piercings)
10. Get streax, deep purple locks of hair and carry it with zest.
11. Never grow too old for jokes and learn the art of being truly charming.
12. Study at a foreign country / institution for a year and work part-time.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
The track changes and trance music is playing and my thoughts change course, as swiftly as a river. They are now centered on the recent developments in my life. The moment of decision and the ignomy of it all.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
vanilla with the distinct
oakiness and texture
of white cream, as I
rubbed it into my skin.
I had little to do, I was
Solitary and as I looked
at the night sky, the
tiny dots were yellow.
"Look at the stars, look
How they shine for you..."
Sunday, August 12, 2012
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone, baby it's all wrong
Where are the plans we made for two?"
Having sultry thoughts in my head, as I ponder about the song, munching on a dil kush with coconut filling and the red and green tutti-fruit inside, it feels like ripe jelly for sometime now.
I recall the time when I had once felt like this song, it was a disarming feeling where nothing could ever make a difference anymore, or again. But here I am, testing my limits and experience... I don't want to talk about it further, as I am happy. There are times when you really feel it and Wiz Khalifa is the man for the job.
I am proud to say that I have a "striking" force in my personality, from an astrology point of view. I explored the natal chart to an extent that I can relate to my short-comings. Although I am not a firm believer in astrology, I like to relate to it, as it is fun, sometimes inaccurate with ribald humor. It says in my birth chart, that I am an Aries with a Leo moon and a Gemini ascendant-sign.
Being one with a Leo moon, I think I am fairly loyal and generous to close friends and family. Although I am supposed to be a bit "fickle", owing to the Gemini influence, I feel that passion perseveres in every sphere of my being. I am looking forward to do more reading and learn a bit more about the intricacies of the seven houses, their planets and concepts of being in conjunction, trine and sextile.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
I am beginning to think, you're so my color! I was wrong to choose black over you in earnest. You're soo RED.... the hue of my lips when I bite them too much. You're the soul and color of love, the very expression of pain, passion and blood! Whoever chooses to undermine you and avoid you in their wardrobe is most definitely nuts... But I know where you're getting at, why am I writing this, eh?
I went shopping today and all that caught my eye was most definitely you... The warmth of you drew me like a moth to a flame. Eid is coming up on the 20th, and it's gonna be so nice then! I picked up up a pair of 1.5-inch heels, also red. And my outfit is deep red, a silky-satin flowing dress with caramel, olive green and grey embroidery at the bodice and at the hem of the anarkali churidar. It looks elegant, and I can hear the tiny murmur of netted embroidery and satin rubbing against each other, with the fall of gravity.
Apart from it, I brought a banarasi silk dress for which I have got great plans!
Golden embroidery over a red base and a plain salwar...and the border around the chunari makes it look classic, but not simply-old fashioned. It delights me... you're tailor-made to fit me! The only thing I regret is that I couldn't have done mom's eid shopping as well. I guess that's just for another time, another day.
Friday, August 10, 2012
I medicated myself to an antibiotic and paracetamol. But before doing that, I first consulted mom who's a fully-fledged doc in the Middle East. The third pill onwards, I couldn't help but feel lethargic. I did observe fast despite being ill, I had woken up at 4 a.m. to consummate the saheri, without which fasting is simply void. And after the iftaar (which means 'break-fast' in rapid Arabic), I visited the local doctor who suggested me to discontinue the antibiotic, as they'd evoked diarrhea-like symptoms.
Erythromycin stearate (popularly available in doses of 500 mg), is a mild-antibiotic that has proved to be my undoing. I medicated myself under the notion that it could be the end of my worries. It cost me a day's worth of peace. Antibiotics are serious and messing with them is no hoopla indeed.
Apart from facing attitude and upsets every now and then, I couldn't care any less about it (oh yeah, a nincompoop still owes me a grand), the past week had me on the brighter side of town. And with caution in mind, I've explored whole new sides to people whom I had desisted earlier on. It's just the loyalty of buddies that has made it worth the while to me.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
spice of life.
I say, its often myriad,
a fine mix of cosmopolitan
views. Like an experiment
to fetch the most savory
drug out there. As
supple as an avocado,
Bitter to ripe as a grape-fruit,
or mellow as nectarine.
It could be acrid as smoke
Or sour as a tangerine.
Its more about having a taste
To preserve the flavor,
For all its worth.
And in the mind,
Its about developing
distastes, learning to
love the percussion
of rummaging sounds guide
and bestow grace upon you.
To blend the finest of
A bay-leaf, or far yonder
the green grass and
stretches of cannabis.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Thoughts swirling in circles,
And more brain-waves,
Name your pick.
The sleepy ones, and the ones that
Resemble an inferno in the deep.
Keeping them to myself, the
Inner workings of my machine.
The cog-wheel turns now and
Does another round-about,
And back to pavilion it is.
Another stray thought, rather
the buzz of a fly, wanders thus
and takes a tour of my mind.
Nuisance, keeping me
from the mental abject of
calculus and then its all awry.
Monday, July 23, 2012
I wore an emerald-green anarkali churidar with shimmery golden sleeves and a delicate embroidery to it. But my attire was nothing compared to the bride's resplendent ghagra-choli. The dress was a pastel shade of blue and decked with pearls and crystals every inch of way. She glowed when she put it on, and it complimented her skin-tone perfectly.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Saturday, June 30, 2012
It is imperfection that ails me, I'm quietly seething. And its the lack of constructive appeal that ails me. Over the past month, there has been hilarity, a set of ups and downs, and strangely piquing things that have spewed resentment.
I reflect on a few questions. If there was a recipe to cure my issues, I would have found it by now. I am but a wanderer, something of a nomad with some emotional damage. It's never easy, it makes me tired and not wanting to do the same thing again. I think of the possibilities and the feeling that comes with it. But then, who are others to label you as such?
I have things to do and accomplish and it's just not going to happen like this. Everything has earned its place in an abode of memories, a haven where I store them as collectibles.
I seek to be free of the guilt that comes with anything that's broken and can't be fixed. But there is a shadow of doubt too, it would eat me alive if ever the opportunity arose. Memories are like mirrors, for the more you look into them, the more you notice the little things, the subtler nuances.
"All the crazy shit I did tonight, they will be the best memories…"
Friday, June 15, 2012
This season ends with Sherlock's run-in with Moriarty and his attempted manipulation with Sherlock's career. The last we see of the hero is his short appearance at the graveyard where "he" is buried. Watson pays his respects, sheds a few tears and leaves not knowing the real Sherlock is alive. Hats off to those death-defying stunts. I wonder how they're going to pull this through, explain they must. Awaiting Season 3.
Eragon and Saphira take leave from a Galbatorix-free world of riches and recognition to train a brood of dragon eggs that have been stowed away and hidden in time. Sweet. Arya, the elf whom Eragon had taken to, becomes Queen to elvish-folk, the demise of Queen Islanzadi in the great battle leads to this. And a third dragon egg hatches and changes are introduced in the governing of the peoples.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
the crackle of thunder
the itch of sarcasm
and the grinding of teeth.
A disease of the mind,
Thou better watch thy word
'lest speech shalt ensnare
before solitude behold.
For exalted thought
and fair action
will ease thy being.
This song by Jessie echoes uncertainty and loss of oneself, which is what happens after a bad mood "swing" passes. I think this song can literally suggest a girl's inner-self, the side which she normally doesn't let the outside world see. It is a manifestation of our very own thought processes.
Today, being the last working day of the 6th semester (for me), I watched seniors gaily getting their transcripts and wading through unexpected formalities which always turn out to be many. They'd gone through four years of hell - tests, exams, classes and tons of new-found memories before us. I wonder what my state of mind will be on this very day, next year.
The graduation day, aka "the kicking out ceremony" was an event which witnessed each of them in bright, splendid colored fabrics, a bespectacle of shine and glamour, decked-up prettiness, of heads held high and shoulders squared with pride and emotion. Adorned in variegated shades of pink, reds and blues, the dainty ladies walked in excited, little steps. While the Men In Black, the brooding lot who dressed alike seemed composed and "in their skin".
I'm done with attendance issues, pending formalities and presentations that were due this week.
Semester End Exams down the line. Some of the best laid plans don't really work nor do things turn out the way you want it to. A common recipe for disaster is always a presumptive-ness falling short of the required efforts to meet the said goal. I'm off to do the required now and will probably update more Wednesday.
The following track is an upbeat number that makes me happily skip to its beats. Its a lot different from the kind of music we hear everyday. I hope you enjoy it too!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Loved it. :D
Flo Rida's thick, manly Black drawl going,
The new installment from Coldplay, "Mylo Xyloto" (their move into the pop genre) - maybe that's why they ended up with such a weird name for their album. [Note: it released way back in 2011.] I loved Paradise, Charlie Brown, Princess of China and some of the other tracks.
Coming to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, a recent hit is "the Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie". The music is somber but not sad, and by the sounds of it, it's been sung in a patronizing tone, LOL. For those of you who'd protest, that's what makes it so different from the rest of the music out there. Its a good song yet the beats aren't soothing, a damper if you're not in the mood for it.
Another song I love is "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Kimbra. The video is very artsy, the nude man represents his own mental state (of oblivion). There is simplicity in the video, the colors used makes it brightly visual, depicting an emotional moment between the estranged guy and the girl who dumps him, quite inconsiderately.
Lights out ... aaaand there's another power cut. Till the next time then, ciao.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
the parody of a sinner
the reaper of Gains
a game amongst the shady
a carnival of troupe dancers
gaily fortunes and if
truth be told,
the sand and stone ......
't all turns but dusty.
(This was my status update on FB,
and I thought I'd share it as I'd written it,
Not quite so long ago.)
Been listening to the Album "Temple of Thought" by Poets of the Fall.
They're as colorful as ever, with "Skin" and "The Ballad of Jermiah Peacekeeper" being soulful, and personally my favorites. Apart from that I've finished watching Supernatural, Season 5. The surprising twists toward the end ensured that I watched it with fully wide-open eyes, quite aghast. I love it. =D
Hoped for a bit more of the demon-angel war and was disappointed with a few episodes of Season 6. Lost interest. The plot had been manipulated and stretched so much that one couldn't expect more outta it anyway. LOL. Yet to start watching "the Big Bang Theory" from scratch. Too lazy. So, shall cross that off my list too.
X - Attended a National Conference on Olfaction and E-nose, held in college.
X - Done with a Health Diagnostic report on HIV-AIDS, quoting references aka. bibliography.
X - Collected two research papers and gotta peruse them for the sake of a presentation.
One article is on the characterization of Jatropha (a biodiesel plant) based on molecular markers, and the other one on Olive cultivars using DNA-based marker selection.
Coming to the recent advances in my personal life, setting aside the professional bit of it - I've been on the edge, an orchestra of highs and lows, of symphonies and sharply quivering, alarming noises. Much so, due to the clashes and difference in opinion with near and dear ones, I regret it.
This one's for you Mom -
"that you're standing behind every word you say
To make my day slowly dawning
I want you to know you're the heart of my temple of thought..."
Monday, March 26, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
I was reading up on marijuana, as i was ever so curious about the carnage of health effects that this weed caused. I came across varying depictions on how weed, like tobacco causes similar problems and is aflout with carcinogens, more so than cigarette (some studies have claimed). The risk of heart attack is increased, and the pulse rate is higher upon smoking of weed. It lowers the systemic immunity of the body to make it more susceptible to infectious attacks and sexual fertility is reduced but doesn't render people completely barren.
THC in weed is the key ingredient responsible for the effects it produces. And the best way to extract the THC's is through the use of a vaporizer. Weed can be smoked through sheesha or a bong, cooked, baked and eaten in brownies, or can be used to make tea quite innocuously.
Much of the effects of this magical, ethereal, mystical drug is yet unknown. But the basic idea is that it destroys brain cells (which is a significant risk for children under 22 years of age), distorts perception of reality, and the common mundane things that more or less we know of.
Marijuana is legalized in Canada and is valued medicinally, and in terminal patients, to reduce their feeling of pain. It stimulates sense of hearing, smell, taste and touch. Ancient mystics and civilizations used this wonder drug in their rituals and day-to-day practices, for general well-being and relaxation. And it is said to improve creativity in some people, such as in writing and other works of art.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Rather like a fresh, medium-rare, pepper steak still flaming hot and fresh off the platter, with the greens, mashed potatoes and pepper sauce! Sounds simply yummy, I know...
The past few weeks have been unforgettable, of celebrations and roller-coaster rides to the moon and back again! Excitement has lurked at every corner and things have been hot and happenstance....
I've never stared off into space to "dream", its a jolly good world out there to visit, explore and have an amazing adventure....
Take me out like I'm a Domino! <3 <3
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Solace in the weather
The blaze of sunshine,
And a hint of fizz for
The feverishly parched.
Cedar juice with a
Gleam of champagne,
And a dancing dollop,
Of Vanilla, and two
Shots of cream...
Sipping a tantalizing appy-fizz in the heat of the summer, it feels ever so refreshing!
It's a furnace out there and within the confines of a shelter, it's like I'm being microwaved inside. Or just experiencing a bit of preheat in the oven.
I am not only sprouting boils by the heat, but also seething from within. And the rising temperature is only making it harder for me to think clearly. Brrrrrrr.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Listening to a repertoire of 2000's most sassy music, "Lady (hear me tonight)" while sipping chilled 7 Seasons Mixed Fruit...
Indus. Indus. Indus. An overpowering dream of magnificent trees that lined the pavement to the girls' hostel. The white buildings, the ever-spreading green meadows, the smell of freshly-mowed grass, the earthy feel of the beautifully landscaped architecture of Indus...
And suddenly, I recall the times spent with my peers on the balcony overlooking the staff quarters, the explosion of giggles, the storms, girly pajama parties, squabbles, gossip nights - the charm and the glamor of those days. It had a quaint charm to it, like the warmth of the fireplace near the hearth.
Here's to my Sassy Sassy Indus Girls..
Love you all! May the Indus Eaglets soar the skies with their Might....
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Although many of us wouldn't follow ambiguous forecasts like "you shall have prosperity in business and good fortune today", and "the stars predict a romantic ...blah blah", we do sometimes get a kick out of reading it. And in many cases, the opposite of what's been said happens.
The basis of astrology lies within the realms of calculations and shifts in the constellations and positions of planets in our natal chart. A natal chart, or birth chart consists of eight houses, with a planet in each of them. The mystery, and the Question Mark is therefore inevitable - can phenomena in space be correlated to events like taking up business partnerships in the office, or meeting new friends?
I was once riding to college on a blissful morning when my daily horoscope predicted "a day of accidents, burns" for a typical Arian like me. I met with a zooming vehicle and had ligament tears in my left knee, save no fractures. From this, and the fact that horoscopes do give good-natured advice which shouldn't be ignored at times. They often advice us to save money for a rainy day, be careful in business dealings, health issuess; they also give mild advice on interpersonal relationships and what the future has in store for us.
Astronomy takes us way back in time, to the philosophers of yore, the Greeks - as they gazed the night-sky through self-made telescopes, thereby discovering the nine planets, which are accepted even today...
I still have a lot that interests me in astrology. Will write more shortly. Adeiu!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Another semester had approached at last. I was yet on "Page 1", a fresh scroll of parchment. With a feathered quill dipped in aquamarine bright blue ink, I gaily spotted a dot on the left-most margin of the page, where I was about to write another one of my philosophical Odyssey's.
My journey aka. voyage through student years has been insanely wild, having had a taste of everything, from dangerous water-sports to wild grass and escapades to places I had never been to before.
With a bit of remorse, sweet memoirs and hopeful curiosity, I dream of an other future - a promising one and probably more distant than the last, richer perspectives, of going places and scaling heights. I forever dream of longevity and stability in successes, from personal relationships to the sweet succor that a healthy profession brings to it.
SOP (the Statement of Purpose) is such a Gargantuan-three-lettered abbreviation, something to get scared of. I don't know where to start with, given my writer's block. One may call it absurd, seeing as I am better at putting down feelings on inanimate objects with just the right set of words. Aspirations at a new university is altogether a different one to write on, and to successfully charm the admissions officer. I would start by writing a mound of gibberish, and the reader would be "trolled". Yeah, I'd actually do that. LOL.
On a serious note, I'd include a bit of light-hearted humor which would hopefully set me apart from the thousands of other aspiring students. Its all a play of words, a rhyme, a rollick. A play in the sand but it has to be Just the Right one.
Let's see how it goes, shall keep you posted!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Sweet emotion, running strong,
A heart beating under the shade
of a tree...
Olives, and of men and mice,
Thou hath not struck a pretty vice,
Carnivals of imagination, crystal balls loom,
Tarot of fortune, and a destiny of Bloom,
Grim beneath the blue moon,
Crowing at the time, none too soon.
Amid the reeking incense and flame,
And the woods creaking thy name,
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
In the end, its a tiny voice at the back of our minds which ignores the fork-tailed alter ego screaming "*itch! for revenge".
When your will is broken
When it slips from your hands
When there's no time for joking
There's a hole in the plan...
An evil-minded serial-cheater once said to me, "When you're out of the game - there are no rules!"