Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Hideously Green

That green-eyed hulk,
the monster from hell.
Exuding wrath; shame
being too trivial for him
to heed. Risk it all, with
blood thickly spewing
resentment in the veins,
many heart-thumping
rushes and fancy-free
meditation to spar with
holier-than-thou thoughts,
as they recede into a distant
canopy of violins playing
with a melody of pain,
fear and ire. The green
eyes smolder as deep
emeralds in the pits of
a fire, and churn with
greed. For what is; and
what could not be.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Books and flowers..

Over the edge of insanity and
back again to a place where
I belong, in the garden of books,
flowers and champagne; a
treasury of thoughts, weighed
in gold and forged in timelessness.
They present to me, a world
of possibilities; of escapism
from an immoral world, I
run but not too far away.
Not for the lack of moral
fiber, but to a happier place...

“I hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures. None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives.” ~ Jane Austen, Persuasion


Okay, so here goes...

It's a Saturday afternoon, and I'm Spongebob in my favorite shorts, still too lazy to get out of the bed. And hail Patrick, the bed and I just luurve it. What's more, special thanks to the milky texture of bengali sweets. I've been eating kaju-barfi, since last night. It's only a matter of time before I bloat up like Spongebob! I have also been craving chocolate cake to sate my sweet-tooth. I may just get one and eat it all to drown out the misery and innate "noob"-iness, as a dear friend had once put it.

So as calories come, there's no turning back. The fat I'm amassing in this temple of mine. I'm a baby after all. And one can't blame babies with a said prerogative. Sickening, isn't it? You might just be wrong, 'cuz I'm only but seeking to satisfy a craving for something that's mysteriously upsetting, filling in the empty spaces with rare treats. It's giving me a sense of false release... the binge-eating. Hence, I must stop. Period.

On the brighter side, I have the whole weekend to myself. I will catch up on some reading. "The Casual Vacancy" - I would have donated a kidney to write it, serious stuff that it is. No more Potter-boys, bravado, fancies or magic to come to the rescue. J.k. Rowling has written her most serious book yet. I will most likely be posting a review once I'm done with it. Till then, adios amigos. 

Friday, November 23, 2012


It's like being plunged
into a sky-fall; I don't
quite like the anticipation
of what could be danger below.
It's the clouds that mist
over the horizon to the far
left. And in this sinking pit of
feeling, a crushing despair
reverberates deep in my belly;
an echo after another echo,
the jolting crunch being too
physically agonizing, for me
to make a sound.

It's like my impaled heart
gave out moments before
I hit reality, as a rock that hits
the calm ocean. The fullness of
the deep waters, measuring
the empty spaces in my
heart which skipped beats;
moments before that sickening
crunch, before I lost control.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Stray thoughts...

Character be defined by one's ability or strength to pull out of situations, sometimes such situations people simply must go through.

Rather than foolishly ranting about it, I am the person who points out the positive side and talks about something good that I learned from it.
And no, I am not ashamed to speak out anymore. Not afraid of the world anymore, nor the opinions that people would form about me.
'Cuz getting hurt has scared me enough. If I'm to get hurt again, it's gonna be for a reason. And I control all those reasons,

I am what I wanna be, and I speak out for myself; I am Me. And for those of you who speak, I don't give a rap... :)

Monday, November 19, 2012

the Commandments

Time for some emotional house-cleaning…

1. Get into J-school.

2. Become a prolific writer/speaker.

3. Be the kind of person who is happy doing her thing, i.e. satisfied in her job.

4. Be more vocal about thoughts and anything else that counts as well.

5. Fear no one and dare to dream.

6. Set my own benchmarks; personal goals.

7. Earn. Speak and just live!

8. And don't forget to eat.

9. Forget 'bout yogi-bears and stuffed toys.

10. Be what you want - an independent girl.

11. While you're at this, don't get lost in the chase and forget to play.

12. Read voraciously. And love the subtler things such as the weather, chocolate pastries and eye-candies.

13. Adopt a homeless puppy, play with it and give it the endless love you have left to give.

14. Travel, do some sight-seeing. Meet some new people.

15. Have stories to tell, take lots of pictures. Blog!

16. Address issues of society and the world that are longing to be written about.

17. Admire nature. Go back to the age of romanticism. Read P.Shelley, Lord Byron and John Keats.

18. Stow away your books, preserve them; archive them or set up a personal library.

19. Think before being such a self-obsessed, compulsive megalomaniac.

20. Drink diet coke and eat falafel.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Conundrum of the wave and the stretched rubber band.

Theory of Waves.
  • Waves. They are but jolty currents, as one rises the other falls. 
  • Duality. They are dual in nature, which goes to show that they can function independently (as particles, as well as waves).
    [Note: The migration of particles from a higher region to a lower region, and then back again, can be collectively termed as a "wave". There can be a sudden shift in the behavior of a particle to that of a wave, with or without prior notice.]
  • Storms. Waves are formed due to undercurrents that cause the movement of a calm medium, or water-body. In short, waves can lead to heavy tides, and then emotional flooding occurs which can lead to a storm, then an "emotional wreck"-ing occurs.
  • Tides. Tides are time-dependent, vary with respect to time. The amplitude of the wave depends upon the conditions of weather; temperature, friction in the atmosphere and the amount of love received. Tides are invariably a measure of this. High tides bring waves with high currents, and are therefore dangerous.
  • Love. It is an emotional variable that Venetians cannot live without.  [Note: It is a dimensionless quantity.]
Theory of the Stretched Rubber Band.
  • Behavior. It is an innate quality. The stretching, may or may not depend on the wave. It denotes the pulling away of the rubber-band from the abject of solace; it is a springing behavior.  
    [Note: this is independent of the dimensionless quantity, love].
  • Coefficient of elasticity. There can only be as much stretching as the value of the coefficient allows. If the band overstretches, it refuses to come back to its original position; or there can be an occasional stretching, without prior notice. But it still keeps coming back to the said position.
  • Space. It is a measure of the personal space the said Martian receives, and is dependent on time.
    [Note: Space-time is a relative measure of the coefficient c, it can be related to the intensity of love; that which can travel at the speed of light.]
  • Power. The greater the stretch, the more the force of the springing rubber-band. And the faster it bounces back towards its original position. 
  • Acquisition. The main abject of a springing rubber band is autonomy, acquisition of wealth, vigor and a healthy challenge. Innate qualities of a Martian and the ones that they live by.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Born to die... Caged!!

Time for a bit of realistic thinking...

No more heady rushes, with my head in the clouds and hoping that great things will happen. Maybe it's time to put an end to exciting "bucket-lists", wisecracks and heck of the moment ideas! It's now time to choose, and I must choose wisely. I need all the help I can get.

It's marred idealism that rules society with religious and ethical norms. But mostly it's the double standards that have withstood the test of time, its something that youth has relentlessly sought to change. I always wanted to be a thinker, to think out of the box and not be particularly influenced by the things that people usually succumb to. I don't want to be the pretty bird in a gilded cage. And I don't ever want to lose connection with the "craziness" that's vital to my inner fire and spirit. I don't want to die a sad death, old and toothless in bed. I'd rather be the flame that started the fire, inspire and be inspired myself.

I guess it's all about to change. I've been given an ultimatum and its like my crazy dreams will never happen, as the rationality sets in. What's more, its worse to try and fight it. I can only try to have control over my life and hope that better doors open as a few doors close, maybe forever. I'd hate to give up, nor am I ready to face the sacrificial altar yet. "In order to gain something, one must lose something." But does it truly apply, when freedom of choice cannot be bartered with goodies or dealt with emotional blackmail? TO let go of something which you hold dear, in order to gain something that feels rather thrust upon you.

Another stereotype, "We are women, born to suffer." To that my inner goddess pouts, "I couldn't care less! Do see the light of the day for God's sake." All this gender discrimination and bias has got to me.

Meanwhile, I am "stealing" happy moments and spoils from the cookie jar. And never tickle a sleeping dragon if you can help it, because you never know when its gonna flame you like you're toast!

So, the Game is On...

Thursday, November 1, 2012

November '12

I have been on blogger since a year now (come last November) and I am pleasantly pleased to see the number of accumulated posts! Its quite refreshing to be able to assert yourself, the expression is quite intoxicating. I don't intend to stop.

I am honored to have people shower praise over my writing skills. One of the best comments that I've received so far, "You have the most eclectic writing style." My inner goddess was petted and mollified by this! :D There were a few readers who simply said that I should write a novel or publish in a magazine or column. I get the novel thing quite often, and my reply has always been, "One day..."

I thank them for their encouragement, and without whom, simply putting words to my thoughts - the insane ones, humorous ones, and the aggrieved ones would never have come to pass.

Thank you all!

Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone